Divorce is not the solution
Lack of correct communication and transparency in marriages is the main driver of divorce.
This is according to Mamorena Liutloileng, a counsellor for Famsa (Families South Africa), on the East Rand.
Studies have shown that more than 50 per cent of all marriages end in divorce, and Liutloileng says this is because husbands and wives don’t understand each other.
“We encourage marriage counselling, to build and reconstruct families, and we try to encourage couples to stay together and work on their marriage,” she says.
Liutloileng says men and women are different, and Famsa tries to equip couples who attend counselling on the skills they need to better relate to each other.
“When wives are frustrated they want to speak and they want their husbands to listen, while husbands, on the other hand, would rather keep quiet when they are frustrated,” she says.
She emphasises that couples should not come home with their frustrations and should not raise their voices to each other, as this is what sometimes leads to violent acts.
Liutloileng points out five ways to better communicate:
* Speak with respect for yourself, your spouse and your children.
* Don’t let your work affect your home life.
* Talk about everything and anything.
* Remember that there is a time to speak and a time to keep quiet.
* Manage your anger and don’t address issues when you’re angry.
According to Liutloileng, divorce should be the last resort, and couples should seek assistance from a counsellor, their church or a family member to resolve marital issues.
