Dancing with dinosaurs as the lava of our economic meltdown flows

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South Africa is in serious economic trouble.

This is according to Finance Minister Tito Mboweni when he delivered the Medium-Term Budget Policy statement recently, which was roundly condemned by economists and tax experts.

Mboweni didn’t pull any punches when painting an alarmingly stark picture of SA’s economic and budget deficit outlook, while the lack of government initiatives to deal with these challenges came under fire.

Yet, in the midst of all economic meltdown, our minister still has time to confirm that a new 2020 Natura series collectible coin will be released in South Africa next year and it features nothing other than dinosaurs.

According to the SA Mint, 2019 marks a monumental 25 years of constitutional democracy for the nation of South Africa, and the SA25-themed coin range will reinvigorate national pride.

Eskom has collapsed, SA is facing rising debt running into trillions, and almost 50 per cent of taxpayers’ money is being spent on government employees, yet we still have time to introduce a coin with, yes, dinosaurs.

Now how is this supposed to spark national pride? How is this supposed to instil a sense of peace and calm in the taxpayer?

All I know is that the only one who gets excited about dinosaurs, especially the ones that eat meat, is my child.

By this time next year the coin will only be able to buy you a litre of petrol.

The latest R25 fine-silver coin features the Coelophysidae, which were highly successful primitive theropod dinosaurs that lived worldwide from the late Triassic to early Jurassic periods.

Apparently, for anybody who cares, this was a small, agile dinosaur which preyed on small animals, and which inhabited South Africa and Zimbabwe.

Maybe there is some kind of hidden message in all of this – you know, some kind of subliminal message that reminds you that SA has steeped into the twilight zone.

Looking at the coin, one can but surmise that our economy is also heading for the Jurassic age because our government’s plans to save us are as prehistoric as the fossils of that time.

How else to explain when Mboweni said there is a need to trim civil servant perks and stop wastage as the debt to GDP ratio is expected to rise to 71.3 per cent in 2023.

This will include relooking at how much the public service spends on ministerial cars, cellphone benefits and ensuring that everyone – including ministers, the provincial executive and mayors – travel economy class for all domestic flights.

Really? Is this another sick and sad joke, considering ministerial cars still cost around R800 000. And in the meantime, we spent billions on dying state-owned enterprises.

Cutting down on cellphone bills and fancy vehicles will not save this country. There is as much hope of success in such a scheme as a herbivorous dinosaur trying to battle a Tyrannosaurus rex.

Another message we can learn from the coins is how so many politicians and businessmen have, like the Coelophysis, been preying on the citizens of this country, devouring at whim and bleeding them dry.

Maybe we should try to get hold of such a coin, if it holds any value by 2020, for every time one looks at it, you will be reminded that the only way you will survive the concrete jungle of failed service is if you are part of the T-Rex club that fills the seats of the cabinet.

Beyond that, as we roam the valleys of this land, we are a mere fodder, left to feed on the dried-up bushes of our country’s financial woes.

A lot of people are looking at divine intervention for rain throughout South Africa. The reality is we need divine intervention, period, lest we join the dinosaurs on the march to extinction.

Many things were blamed for the demise of the dinosaurs, including a meteorite that killed them all, and just so our extinction will probably be blamed on the colonialists. This is how prehistoric we have become in our proactive thinking to keep the people smiling and happy.

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Of course, because we have been told not to panic when it comes to the water crisis and Pravin Gordhan has a master plan in place to keep the lights on.

Yes, there is no need to panic as dams run dry, as animals die, as people suffer and the crops wither. This is after all the motto of our government these days – do not to panic as the ice age looms.

I’m sure the dinosaurs at one stage also thought there was no need to panic. They were sadly also hoodwinked into believing such a false state of security.

The reality is that there is plenty of reason to panic, as we scramble like the Coelophysidae to avoid the flowing lava of our economic meltdown.