A tragic story of love and loss

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Little did the Boksburg couple know that the morning of October 31 last year, would be their last moments together as a loving family in their Beyers Park home.

Laura dos Santos (30) did what she loved most, and went horseback-riding at the horse stables. It was also the day that she fell from the horse, but before she landed, the horse kicked her in the abdomen.

Now, Miguel dos Santos tells his story to the Advertiser, in order for people to realise that they are not on this earth forever, and to cherish every moment together.

“She barely survived. The doctors told me she had six hours to live, but she made it through the first week,” said Miguel (34).

Due to the kick on Laura’s abdomen, her liver ruptured and 60 per cent had to be removed.

After a two-and-a-half month battle, and approximately 17 operations later, Laura passed away on January 18, leaving her husband and three-year-old son, Callum, to fend for themselves.

During the time that Laura spent in hospital, Miguel’s life consisted of waking up, going to Glynwood Hospital ICU, having breakfast, going back to the ICU, having dinner or lunch at the hospital, back into the ICU, and eventually going home to sleep at night.

Miguel and Laura had been dating for 10 years, married for five, and had the most adorable son from their marriage.

On the day of the accident, Miguel already started preparing himself for the worse.

He had councillors with him, people praying, and also brought in a priest to say the last rights.

“I told Laura that Callum and I need her in our lives. I told her that she is the glue that holds the family together.

“I told her that I will appreciate, love and help her more around the house and with Callum. I will do whatever she wants, and that I will spend more time at home and that I will even make my own sandwiches for work,” Miguel said.

On November 8, she and Miguel even enjoyed their fifth year anniversary in the hospital.

“There were stages when Laura were better than others in the hospital, and was able to talk and write, even though it was only small, single words.

“She told me over and over that she didn’t want to die. She willed herself to live,” Miguel says.

“It was really hell, because every day I see her and she is being tortured. It was a rollercoaster that never felt like it ended. I could see that she was dying, right in front of my eyes, every single day.

“That was one of the toughest things: Knowing that your partner, your soulmate, is dying, and there is nothing that you can do about it.”

Miguel says that, during the whole period, he did a lot of crying and went through the seven stages of grief.

“I had to think of life without her, and I needed to concentrate on my son. All the while I was thinking that I didn’t appreciate and love her enough – all these stupid emotions that come to you when you lose someone, or are about to lose someone.”

During the most difficult times throughout this period, sitting next to her hospital bed, every hour Laura survived, Miguel used to play their wedding song, Runaway, from an Irish band, The Corrs.

The hardest times for Miguel were over Christmas and New Year, when everyone around him was happy, but all he could think of was his wife.

Pointing to the lounge, Miguel says that he still has Laura’s gifts she received at Christmas – all of it untouched, just as all her other belongings.

“I was there all the time for her during the ordeal. I prayed like crazy, tried to do good things, just so that God would save her life. Sometimes you breakdown and think by yourself that you should’ve done this or that. You think stuff like why didn’t I stop her from riding horses.”

It was only two weeks before Laura’s death when Miguel realised that no matter what he does and says, it is not in his hands, but in God’s, and that gave him some relief about it.

In order for Callum to never forget his mother, Miguel is keeping all kinds of records, so that one day, he can share it with him.

“Callum is fine at the moment, and handles the death of his mother very well.

“He is too small to understand life and death. He knows his mother his dead. I told him that the brightest star is mommy, and whenever it winks, he winks back at her,” Miguel says with a smile and winked both eyes, as Callum would.

Callum also said to his father that his mother is in heaven and that she is riding horses there.

As for Miguel, he is also coping and starting to get back in the land of the living.

For Miguel, all that he has left of his wife is memories they have shared together, and knowing that there will never be new ones.

“It is so important to love and appreciate one’s loved ones as much as you can, everyday. Be a good person, because you never know what is going to happen,” says Miguel.