Welcome to the Johnny Awards of madness

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Ever seen the movie The Shining, adapted from horror writer Stephen King’s famed novel? There is one scene where the antagonist, Johnny, played by Jack Nicholson, sticks his head through a splintered bathroom door with a crazed grin and cries: “Here’s Johnny!”.

The novel follows the story of Johnny “Jack” Torrance, a recovering alcoholic and writer, who accepts the position as winter caretaker of the isolated Overlook Hotel, which sits in the Colorado Rockies.

He moves into the hotel for closing season with his wife, Wendy, and five-year-old son, Danny, who has psychic abilities which enable him to see aspects of the hotel’s horrific past.

Soon, after a winter storm cuts them off from the outside world, an evil force in the hotel springs to life and influences Jack’s sanity, leaving the family in incredible danger.

For a long time people were scared to stay at hotels, just in case they read RED RUM on the walls.

Of course, Hitchock’s Psycho also didn’t help to boost the hotel trade.

These days, it seems there is also an evil force that has invaded our land, even though it is summer (we will just ignore the insane sized hails stones that look like boulders).

We also have plenty of “Johnny” candidates who are sticking their heads through the door of civility and morality, hell bent on harming all things normal and sane.

One such “Johnny” is the absolute crazy story of a Minnesota-based television presenter and big-game hunter who has drawn outrage after she posted a photo of herself posing with a lion she had just shot and killed in South Africa.

Melissa Bachman posted a photo to her Facebook account of herself smiling next to the carcass of the lion, with her rifle in one hand.

And yes, she stalked the lion inside a cage. And now she is proud of her achievement.

In a time when South Africa is battling the insanity of rhino poaching, even getting the military involved, this is not the kind of publicity we need.

We certainly don’t need gun-wielding Americans pretending to be brave in the land of the free; hunting a lion that just wants to enjoy the African sun.

Of course, it seems she can’t be banned from the country, despite a petition drawn up, because she participated in a legal activity (enough said!).

And, of course, at the same time, we have the insanity of the dog-fighting syndicate that was busted open in Tsakane (I though this was a decent informal settlement).

I don’t know what is more barbaric and cruel – to bolster one’s already inflated ego by killing the pride of Africa, or to get dogs to tear into each other just to make a buck or two.

To be honest, both our American and everyone involved in the dog-fighting scandal deserves a “Johnny” award for making us want to flee to our homes and lock the doors.

There is, of course, a third story which involves cruelty to our planet — we are talking here about the dead fish in Witfield Dam.

For some, fish are fish, but an urgent investigation needs to be done to why fish are popping up dead in Boksburg.

If not, then more “Johnny” Awards needs to be dished out.

Then, of course, we have the ever present boogie man in the closet that has now decided to jump out and scare innocent children, or shall we say motorists.

Yes, let us give another “Johnny” Award to the e-toll system and all those who have done everything in their power to steal the last piece of bread from our tables.

While it seems every commuter is opposed to this purple monster peering at us, the government insists it is good for the country and our economy.

Shall we dare to comment on the McBride fiasco?

The controversial former Ekurhuleni Metro Police chief, Robert McBride could become the new head of the police watchdog, the Independent Police Investigative Directorate (IPID).

Let us not say anything, for an axe might come flying through the door.

Let us rather wonder how we are going to keep our dwindling riches intact, considering how card fraud is on the increase — yes, identity fraud and corruption remain rampant.

Plenty of “Johnny” Awards for our criminals, even though the rapists deserves to be locked up in the Overlook Hotel for a couple of years, with the evil force.

And so we can continue with the “Johnny” Awards, creating our own spectacle to rival the Oscars.

Only difference is, the “Johnny” Awards feature fictional characters that are far scarier and stranger than their Oscar counterparts.

On a last and different note, before we all are overcome by stress, Christmas season is upon us, so NGOs and charities need the help of the community urgently.

This includes the SPCA and its annual Cheer Fund.

Let us at least help to turn the tide of insanity by lending a hand to worthy causes, to instil some sort of season of goodwill and peace on Earth.