What makes you happy?
The East Rand Business Women (ERBW) held an interesting event on Wednesday, September 11, with the "Pink Shrink", Elmarie Claassen.
The meeting included a donation from the ERBW to Child Welfare SA Kempton Park, which was well received by assistant director Bettie Nieuwoudt.
To kick off the gathering, Claassen asked a very important question to all those present: “What makes you happy?”
She asked what, when you are 80 years old and sitting on your porch, you will regret not doing.
“You are not going to regret that you were late for work; you are going to regret that you didn’t take that trip you promised your loved one, because you had to work,” she said.
She explained that there are only four things people really want in life, and those are to live, to feel important, to love and to have variety in life.
“Psychologists no longer focus on what makes you sick – we know what it is already,” Claassen said.
“Now we focus on what will make you happy; the big thing is, on what are we focusing?
“And this depends on what you look at and give attention to; we worry and become anxious over nothing that matters. The thing we see as a disaster isn’t always a disaster tomorrow.”
She noted that humans are full of rules and regulations, and this places a lot of pressure on women to always perform better.
“Just stop. We have so much information around us, but we have to choose what we listen and react to,” she said.
“If we keep on accepting that ‘this is how it is’, things will never change. You need to choose what you want.
“Be the queen of your own kingdom and choose how people treat you.”
Claassen said that when you feel that you are right, or that things are going right, then you feel good, but when you are wrong or things are going wrong, you feel bad, negative, mad, embarrassed and anxious.
“Breaking a glass at your friend’s dinner party is just that, a mistake,” she explained.
“This is, however, something we would focus on as a negative and, as women, we would constantly feel bad about it, and forget to enjoy the lovely dinner party we are at.”
She advised women to stop focusing on stressors that are out of their control, and to rather focus on things that are within their control and that make them happy.
“Embarrass yourself and feel the difference between acceptance and approval,” she said.
“Own your feelings and how you feel now.
“Don’t worry about later, as it will tend to itself, but always remember that the choices we make today will have an impact later, therefore, it is okay to not be okay all the time.”
